Intense. We just celebrated the winning penalty kick...

Goooo, Koreaaa.

After running errands today I ran into a guy I had a couple of classes with this past year. Since niether of us had lunch, we decided to eat at Rocky Run. It was a good lunch, and we had a good chance to catch up. Afterwards, I prepared for worship practice, then went to Yogi's for dinner and to print out the song sheets.

From there, we all went to bible study at church; incidentally, my final Friday at Hope Chapel. Afterwards, practice was a little rough... things weren't out the way I had hoped, and I started to get a little frustrated. Man, I really think I should have prepared on Sunday... but oh well.

I'm now at Paul Han/Yogi's place watching the Korea/Spain game. It's been a frustrating and intense ride... it's already overtime, and there have been many close calls so for. Just now, Spain attempted to score but it bounced off of the goalpost... so insane. Everyone here is going nuts.

Well, I finally am back home in Baltimore after my trip to Austin with Jimmy. We drove down in two days... it was a nice, long drove halfway across the country in a overloaded Camry. 1600+ miles of staring at the farmland that predominated the landscape for most of the trip.

The modern age of automobiles and planes enables us to go such great distances in such little time, it's a very jarring experience to travel sometimes. We left 6 AM from Baltimore, and made it to the southern tip of Virginia by lunchtime. We stopped at a Wendy's, only to be cheerfully greeted by a smiling, Caucasian teen with a southern accent. It was quite strange. By the time we made it to Memphis, Tennessee for dinner, the windshield and front was covered with the Tennessee bugs... Tennesee has a LOT of insects flying around. It was a little nasty.

Funny story: We stayed at a Quality Inn in West Memphis, Arkansas, which was across the river from Memphis. When Jimmy went in to check out a room, I noticed a swarm of insects congregated at all the lights. When we parked, after I stepped out I noticed that there were bugs everywhere; crawling all over the door and the asphalt and flying all over the place. Jimmy joked about the situation by saying, "Hey Tim, be sure not to open your mouth." Of course, as soon he said it, I heard him yelp and gag as a bug flew into his mouth. The irony, oh the irony.

We got a really nice room for $50, thanks to the AAA discount. For those of you that have cars, it is highly recommended that you get a AAA membership... it really is a convenient service. Maps, travel guides, and discounts and many participating hotels and restaurants all over the country. Pretty cool.

ARkansas and Texas was all flat farmland. There were times when it was very picturesque; big bales of hay scattered across rolling green hills, grazing cattle, rows and rows of corn. But then, when the scenery stayed the same, it got boring after a while.

Austin is a very interesting and fifferent city. Everything in Texas is bigger and more spaced out... every highway has what you call "feeder roads," local roads with stores along both sides of the 8 lane automotive corridors. The highways were also decorated by sculpted supports. I also have never seen so many trucks and SUV's in my life... it was crazy.

Texas BBQ is so good. REALLY good. We went to "The Salt Lick," an all you can eat BBQ joint that's housed in a ranch in the southern outskirts of Austin. Oh yeah. It was good.

Back to describing Austin. I was expecting a normal city... but besides it's downtown, everything was spaced out all over the hilly terrain. It didn't feel like it was a city at all... everything also looked nicer and newer. There was a lot of construction going on. Signs of a growing economy and industry, you know?

Ok. I sleep now.

This is I was thinking about during church today:

I've been stuck in this emotional rollercoaster for this past year for too long. To be honest, this ride has stunted my perceived spiritual maturity and growth. I use the word "perceived" because ultimately it's God that only knows how much I've grown, but from what little I see, I see that I've regressed in my maturity and in the rapid period of growth I had over the years.

To explain, this emotional rollercoaster = struggling with my unrequited feelings for someone I was interested in all throughout college. There's nothing wrong in that of itself. It's perfectly understandable to me when a person doesn't share your feelings; the attraction simply isn't there. That I understood in my mind, but I honestly didn't deal with my heart's attachment in as Godly a fashion as I thought I did. Instead of responding to my feelings by dependence through prayer and personal Bible study, I simply wallowed in them and let them guide my actions. Over the course of the semester I noticed myself becoming less responsible with my schoolwork and job search, going online a lot more, daydreaming a lot more, generally wasting more time. Ultimately I revived my old habit of nursing and responding only to my feelings.

So here I am. I'm broke, and I'm still struggling to sever this stupid attachment to this idol I've made of this person (it's not even this person, you know?). Now that I'll be going home to NJ for good, new responsibilites await me. I know that God has a heartfelt desire for me to enjoy Him and His gifts that He's given me, and I know that will come if I put my heart into serving my parents' church back home. Although I still haven't fully prepared my heart for it, I know that obedience will be rewarded with His joy and blessings. As for grad school, I know that I have to get myself into gear and into focus for my career and my academics. All these extra responsibilities require so much more of my passion and my heart. Up until this point, I haven't lived ambitiously. God, grant me an ambition for Your name to be known, and to know you more intimately.

I'll be going to Texas this week to move Jimmy's stuff back with him. Really, it's to spend time with one of my best brothers here at Hopkins. This relationship has surely humbled me... he gives more to me than I've ever given to him. If anything, our relationship has shown me how selfish and self-centered I am, and how gracious and Christ-like Jimmy can be in his heart for those around him.

God surely has been good.

I'm praying for maturity, for straightened priorities, for my life's passions to be awakened again to the important things to pursue and know: loving God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and loving those He sends my way.