Tasty!

Roasted Root Vegetable Irish Lamb Stew is really good. I have a lot of leftovers cuz it's a nice hearty recipe... oh yeah.

Yum.

Back to reading.

Making Roasted Root Vegetable Irish Lamb Stew for dinner tonight. I found some lamb in the freezer that's been sitting there for a couple of months, and decided that it'd be a good time to eat it. Since it was only a pound and a half shank, it seemed to be a good idea to make it into a stew; stew = more food. Let's see how this Irish dish will taste.

The result will be posted later.

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Once again, an advertisement: does anyone from NY know a Christian female seeking a roommate? I have a friend moving to NY from Chicago to start a new job, and she's hoping she kinda find a good sister in Christ to show her ropes of NYC survival. Just leave a comment.

Spent all evening and twilight practicing a guitar idea I had.

I love playing the guitar. I really want to become fluent in the language of music. I would just love to express thoughts through scales and rhythm, through melody and harmonic chords, without having to worry about the technical details. There's just that something about good, honest, heartful (not overproduced) music that speaks to me. It is just so great to get into a groove and just express.

Ok, bedtime.

ANNOUNCEMENT/REQUEST

Does anyone that reads this site live in New York?

For those that do, do you know any christian female that needs a roommate? I have a friend that is moving from Chicago to work in CT, but she wants to live in NY. She would like to live with a good Christian sister, if she can.

If you do, please leave a comment about how she can get connected.

Yes, Mr. Gentyle, Kangles are being worked, but this time not for me. Please, no comments concerning "kangling." :-)
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Everywhere you go, people complain.

There's always something to complain about, something to be dissatisfied about. All the conversations I find myself getting to lately involve me listening to complaints: "This sucks", "this professor is a jerk", "I don't have money", etc.

I just wonder, why do people complain?

To me, it seems to be done to gain sympathy and attention, in order to affirm self-importance/self-righteousness. Complaints essentially say, "This isn't the way things should be, I deserve more." Complaints are a declaration of ones' self-importance, aren't they?

The sad thing about all of this is that people find more pleasure in complaining instead of praising. We seem to be so much more content about finding the faults in our environments versus rejoicing in their perks.

Another "why": Why do we tend to enjoy looking at the negative more than the positive?

Recently recorded. I messed up here and there, and this will only be up for a limited amount of time. Need to save server space, don't want to copyright issues since it's a james brown loop that plays the part of backing band, and it's not that good as is :-)

enjoy.

hopefully.

"What do we want?"

Since we live in a society where the basic human needs of food, shelter, water, and sanitation are easily met, we're left with another need: what do we want?

I think when we leave "What do I want?" unanswered, we become dysfunctional. It also seems that if we try to answer "What do I want?" with superficial things, we become dysfunctional. There are so many levels of this question, and how we answer it: "I want to be functional", "I want to be happy," "I want to feel right with the world." When we try to answer "What do I want?", the answers to this question become our expectations, no matter how realistic or not they are. These expectations become so important, that our lives become dictated by the desire to meet these different expections.

The questions I have: why are we driven by this question? Why is it so important to us to have a purpose... to the point where people kill themselves when they don't have one? Why is "purpose" so important?

Dreamed last night that I was going around with my contacts in, and they were causing me problems as usual.

Makes me wonder: should I start wearing my contacts again? They're so uncomfortable. Since I have very bad eyes (-6.5 prescription), even though they're soft contacts, they're pretty thick, so it hurts my eyes more than normal peoples' contacts would. Plus, I have to stare at screens and study much.

Oh, bother.

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It is another frustration that I have enough intelligence/skill to form an interest in many talents, but not enough intelligence/skill to really excel in any of them. Either that, or it's my lack of discipline, or maybe it's God's way of humbling me from becoming cocky (which can very much happen).

Example, it's always been a dream of mine to write great songs. But, for some reason, I can never really write anything. I don't know if it's because I have the mental capacity to complete the ideas I come up with, or if it's because I lack the vision to carry them out. Or, maybe it's both. Or maybe it's just something different altogether. But either way, I wonder if it's all because I am simply seeking attention and praise, not seeking to really impact others for their better. Maybe that's why I don't have the gift.

Maybe all of this self-directed thought illuminates this hidden self-aggrandizing tendency of mine.

Oh, the possibilities are endless. I might as well just get up and go to the library to study.

Ok, I will.

Best British Weblogs.

Well, it's midday and I have to get busy with school work and errands.

Ahhhh, the grad school life. Gotto love it.

Listening to Nora(h?) Jones, my roommate's been d/l a lot of her stuff. She sounds like Macy Gray singing like Ella Fitzgerald. She must have had an Ella cd on repeat all her life :-)

There's a very bossa-nova feel to her stuff. Nice and chill, reminds me of Nicaragua.

Nicaragua. It's 3 years since I went; that experience was quite an eye-opener. The people we encountered were so loving, and family-oriented. I wish people in the US had similar desire to be connected to each other; even with the past year's events, people are still disconnected in many ways. We all just want to get on with our own lives, me included.

Ok, I had completed this post before, but it all got cut off. This is frustrating. The gist of what followed the last paragraph was, in light of the ability to communicate with video/audio/text means, the absence of the physical reality of the person makes us more disconnected as a society.

I think I'm getting my second lease in life.

Time to move on.

Time to go forward.

Time to shift down to 2nd and pull ahead.

Time to jump off the plane with parachute release tight in hand.

Time to escape the exploding Death Star.

Time to go forward.

Time to move on.

Biochem test is over.

Another oldie I remember:

"One day I was wondering what's it all about,
Life is full of heartbreak, restlessness and doubt,
Then a gentle Stranger, whispered words of love,
Pointed me to heaven, wrote my name above.

I know where I'm going, and who I'm gonna see,
I have a friend named Jesus, waiting there for me,
He has given something, that only he could give,
He gave His life in payment, so that I could live."

A little better than the other song, but still shows the more emotional, subjective emphasis of that era of worship song-writing. I still like it.

Anyone else remember it?

I have always had this arrangement in my head for it. Maybe not a fully fleshed out one, but there's this sound in my head that I'm talking about. It has this sorta alt-rock-ish feel to it, upbeat and driving.

But then, that's a bit hackneyed.

"Give them all, give them all, give them all to Jesus
Shattered dreams, wounded hearts, and broken toys
Give them all, give them all, give them all to Jesus
And He will turn your sorrows into joy."

Does anybody remember this age-old song? I can only completely remember the chorus; the first line of the first verse is, "Are you tired of chasing pretty rainbows?" I think it's from the late 60s/early 70s, the melody sounds like folk music from that time.

There are some theological holes/deficiencies in the song, since it's derived from an emotionally-based mentality of Christianity, but it's nonetheless a good reminder of the sufficiency of Christ.

Back to biochem.

Up until the moment I went up to speak, I kept thinking, "Even with all this preparation, it feels like I have no idea what I'm going to say."

But, it's over now. That night really drained me; I notice that whenever I do this sort of thing, all of my energy is sapped out afterwards. I'm still trying to recover.

But, enough about me.

Every day of working with the children and teens in my church is always a big lesson about how God is working with us. They don't understand why they have to do certain tasks or be nice or etc., just like we don't understand why we have to be in our respective jobs or places in life. This is an under-developed thought, sorry. Estoy muy cansado. (I'm very tired).

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Biochem exam is in two days. So, I'm here in the College Ave. library, 8:40 PM on a Sunday night, about to start studying for it. But my eyes are already drooping, I know that within 20 minutes I'll be falling asleep. :-)

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I'm still thinking about "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." The strangest thing has been happening the past two days: the pain isn't there any more. It just stopped. I'm not so sure why God brought this about, maybe so that I can get focused with yesterday's speaking engagement. However, it's starting to creep back in again. I'm still determined to resist and not let it control me, but it's strange how these feelings have a life of their own.

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Kids go through a lot, and they have such strange, complicated social lives. At least, the ones in my church do. I'm hoping that they can really get the Gospel, and learn how it can help them start demonstrating more care for each other. These kids have such a large capacity for it, if only they can see that. I'm starting to see the real difference it makes when parents try their best to raise kids with Godly principles. Those kids tend to be a lot more caring and humble and obedient. They're not perfect, but they're definitely a lot easier to work with, a lot more pure and trustworthy at heart.

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It humiliates me more that as I see what kind of person I am. I'm really not that rational, not nearly as rational as I had hoped/perceived/projected/wanted myself to be. How shameful it is to see the reality that one is controlled more by one's emotions. How can this change? Or do I accept things the way they are... then see me go through life as if it's a constant roller coaster? See me handing everything in late, doing things last minute, because I can't have the will to keep saying "no" to what I feel like doing at the moment?