NECESSARY READ:

The Centrality of the Gospel

This article is so money. It sums up a lot of things that I've learned up this point in life about Christianity, and it organizes it nicely. Great article.

Me: you know
Jacob: ?
Me: the reason why a lot of things don't get done in life
Me: ie, why we have so many half-baked ideas
Jacob: ?
Jacob: i would like to know
Me: is because we are not deliberate with what we think about
Me: we are not deliberate about fully thinking things out
Me: we make up fancies, and create ideals out of them
Me: but we never really think them through and never fully act upon them
Me: so, lots of things get put off, lots of things don't end up getting done
Me: because we're too impatient to sit down, think things through, and do them
Me: it causes us and others frustration
Jacob: hm..
Jacob: i can see that
Me: we're frustrated because our ideals aren't met, and sometimes real life things don't happen
Me: like, the ideal that "i'll figure out my finances"
Me: or, "i'll study hard", or "i'll apply to and get that scholarship", or "i'll be in that next big rock band"
Me: we are too quick to believe in the fancy, and too slow to count to cost
Me: to count *the cost
Jacob: hm..
Jacob: yes
Me: another way to look at it is like a kid in a candy store with a credit card
Me: he wants to get the big piece of chocolate
Me: buys it
Me: then goes into debt because he doesn't have the money for it
Me: or, he wants the bar, but doesn't have enough cash in the pocket
Me: all the kid could think of his frustration
Me: doesn't learn
Me: and then, does the same thing over and over again
Me: that's me.
Jacob: haha
Me: i'm not deliberate enough with my fantasies
Me: i'm not deliberate enough with my dreams
Me: i dream, but stay in it
Jacob: dreams are easy
Jacob: not consequences for failure
Me: nor is the realization of dreams
Me: my prayer now, for one thing, is to be more deliberate with what i dream up
Me: so that i can be more careful to evaluate and correct their source: God, or my self-centered, flesh inspired motives
Me: and, that i can be more deliberate in pursuing them

Temporary Break from Hiatus.

I am still awake after staying up to finish my Biosignal Processing homework.

Last weekend I went to Baltimore, and it was a good trip, even if I was only there for literally 12 hours. Stinks, I wish I could have been there longer, but I read the train schedule wrong and thought I had to be back early. Stupid me.

It was an incredible blessing to see the many new faces and hearts at Hope Chapel. There's a lot of potential; I just hope that there will be a general thrust for relationships to keep going deeper, instead of letting things stay at the status quo. I caught up with Rena, Chang Eun, Gail, and some others. However, I missed seeing a lot of other old friends.

****

I like travelling. I like the Greyhound Bus, regardless of its drab and sometimes smelly interiors. Every time I ride it, I think of how the Greyhound Bus is a microcosm of America. People of all different classes, races, ethnicities, etc. all want to take advantage of the cheap fares and the rugged dependability. Granted, you get what you pay for, but hey, who can complain?

I walked through NYC from the Port Authority to Penn Station in the light drizzle, noticing the dirty puddles in the roads and walks, and then thought occured to me... regardless of weather, there are always dirty puddles in NYC. Even on the clear, sunny days, you can count on seeing dirty puddles in the dirty streets of NYC. Regardless, I love NYC. I don't know why I do, but I just love it. I love the bustle, the tourists, the disgruntled (but brave) inhabitants, the overpriced food, the loud hum of traffic, and the lights. I love the tall buildings, the resources, the possibilities.

Overall, the trip home from Baltimore took me 7 hours.

****

The Tim Kang experience, at least, what is on my mind and heart 24/7:

I am trying to change my mentality about school. It will slowly change. I will earn to like it here at Rutgers, I just have to find my groove. I will not waste my time with petty things. I will spend more time with my hobbies. I will learn how to ride down stairs on my bicycle. I will learn all of those jazz scales, modes, and wacky variants of 7th chords and beyond. I will learn how to express my emotions and thoughts into songs. I will learn about Biochemistry, Biosignal Processing, Mammalian Physiology, my research, and current research topics in the Biomedical Engineering world. I will spend more time talking to God and reading what He has to say in His Word. I will spend my thoughts and energy in seeing the applications of the Gospel in my life and in the general human condition. I will pray for my youth group and elementary school kids more. I will apply for those fellowships. I will eat my greens. I will make that CD mix for my friends. I will decide upon the Praise Night theme and compose a set list, practice schedule, and things that have to be done for the Praise Night. I will meet up with old friends that live in this area and in NYC. I will pray for my friends. I will invest my time in them. I will manage my money in an organized and responsible fashion. I will not be on the lookout for potential partners of life. I will not get sucked into chat and reading random webpages. I will not play videogames. I will not become familiar with TV plotlines and schedules. I will not lose out on my life anymore.

I think when those "I wills" don't happen and "I will nots" do happen, I get really depressed. No more. The only grounds for my emotional well-being should be my status in life. And, that is already established: I am a child of God, adopted thanks to the saving grace of God in Jesus Christ. I know in the future I will get depressed, and I will fail, but the only grounds for my faith is not necessarily what happens to me, but what happened before me 2000 years ago on a cross, in an empty tomb, and from an open field on a mountain.

Be my strength.