CRAZY!

A woman gave birth on a Boston train, click here to read the article.

Today was my brother's birthday.

I didn't do anything for him.

I spent the past couple of days playing and beating "Treasure Hunter G," the last game that Square released for the Japanese Super Nintendo. I was able to get a translated version.

What a hollow existence.

I've been working on a new recording. Up until this point, response to the work in progress has been positive overall, thank goodness.

****

People have wondered why I'm so hard on myself, and I wonder about that as well. I realize that I'm more easily dissatisfied with anything than I am satisfied. Being so hard on myself stems from looking at myself too much, and since I tend to be dissatisfied instead of satisfied, I become so self-critical. If I were more prone to be satisfied with things, I would be overly satisfied in myself, and therefore vain. I therefore at times exhibit vain tendencies. Either way, I'm still focused upon myself too much, not upon the world, God, nor others.

It is funny that we so easily grab onto things to complain about instead of things to rejoice about. Why is that? I think for me, when I complain, I have a sense of power because I am playing the part of the evaluator, the critic that can demand change. If I rejoice about something, it's a response, not a critique. When I rejoice, I admit that I have nothing to offer, for the object of my affections is complete, and I am simply overcome with marvel. I'll summarize like thise: I'd rather be unhappy in satisfying my own greatness than be happy in finding the greatness of something else. Isn't that odd?

The greatest object of rejoicing is Jesus, yet my heart does not see what my mind knows. Jesus, let me rest in you, let me see You as You are, what You've done for me then, what You're doing around me now.

U2's Joshua Tree fell down 3 years ago:

http://www.joshuatreenationalpark.net/u2tree.htm

Shall I wax upon my psychological/spiritual issues?

Nah.

I just want to scream. An aimless life sure is frustrating.

Rest.

A critical state of being for a Christian is the state in which the heart securely rests in God.

I think my issues always stem from denying God as the being real giver of peace, the real solace, the real shepherd. I have never learned to trust the sovereign Giver to the point where I won't "be anxious about anything," but instead I'd be "praying and petitioning God with thanksgiving." God, I keep running away from this truth. I think this truth is what He has been teaching me this past year and a half.